Here Comes the Bride

Can you spell E F F O R T L E S S ?
I know I can.

In a recent post, I shared with you about the process of finding my wedding dress. When it was professionally determined that the raw silk ivory gown my aunt had bought for me could not be altered appropriately, I went on a search for my dream (actually, vision) dress. With the vagaries of size--both the shape of my body and my budget, it became a bit more arduous than I anticipated. That is why I did not buy anything last week and shifted my thinking.

When I got home and began to peruse the web for gown possibilities, I landed on one dress on e-Bay that caught my eye and met all my requirements. I looked down and there were three minutes and 23 seconds left on the bidding. Gulp. Should I bid? Is this too hasty? OR was it part of the D-vine plan? I had to trust the serendipity of it all and I bid and I won!!!

When the invoice arrived, I noticed that the store outlet was in Van Nuys and since my L.A. trip had been postponed a week I wrote them a request to see if I could pick up the dress while I was up there. Sure, they said. Oh goody, I could have it sooner, too. A little intuitive flash danced across my mind and I paid heed.

On Friday morning, Rev. Nancy and I got dressed and drove out to the Valley about as giggly as two girls could get. We were singing show tunes and letting our effervescence unabashedly flow. The store was in one of those industrial park complexes. We pulled in and found the only open parking space for Princess Bridal. Normally, I would scowl at the name Princess Bridal because it sounds so Barbie-pink that my teeth would curl. This day, I could hardly wait to get out of the car. I think it was about then when I realized I had disowned my Princess, my Guinevere because I was more inclined to be Morgana. Princesses were usually too cotton candy and had no spunk.

It was a small store and yet still outfitted with a large floor to ceiling three-way mirror and the requisite box upon which to step once you had donned your gown. Nancy and I peeked into the warehouse area and saw all these beautiful gowns looking so lifeless. We quickly ascertained that this was an outlet house for discontinued gowns and samples. The very nice woman who works there, Christina came out and I gave her my e-Bay invoice for her to retrieve my dress. She asked if I wanted to try it on. "Oh, may I?" I squeaked.

Off with the jeans and shirt (remember, I used to do shows and I am facile at a quick change) and into the crinoline slip (think Scarlett O'Hara). She took my dress out of the plastic and I could see it was as I had hoped and as it was represented in the photos. Christina slipped it over my head, zipped me up and told me to step up on the little box (Webster should give these little boxes a special title) as she adjusted my train. I turned around and voila! Instant bride!!!!!

Not sure who was cooing more--me or Nancy. My gown fit and it was/is beautiful. Yes, it needs to be taken in a few places and of course, shortened. But it was definitely my gown. This was the one after all. There was no stopping the girlish flow now. Oh, I would need new shoes. A bustier, my own crinoline slip...what jewelry shall I wear? Maybe I could find one my mother's pieces to wear.

As Christina was re-hanging my gown I mentioned that I had an unusual request. I began to explain to her the story of my Uncle Mike and his wife Linda wanting to help me out with my wedding by sending me their daughter's designer gown that was never when her wedding was called off. It was an Alfred Angelo gown from a few years ago that had been hanging in their closet and the price tag of $550 was still on it.The challenge with the gown is that it was a size 24W. I said that I wanted to get this gown to someone who could wear it and appreciate it. She suggested e-Bay or Craigslist. Yes, I had considered those options but I wondered if Princess Bridal would like it because they already had a built-in market for this sort of thing. Christina said they actually another dress like this a few years ago and could attest to it's authenticity and she would call the owner to ask. When she returned, she said the owner declined because she would not be able to give me what the dress was worth.
I smiled and explained that I was not asking to be paid for the designer gown, I wanted to swap it for my gown!!! After all, my Uncle and Aunt wanted to give me my wedding gown and if we made an even swap, I could still keep the integrity of their generous intentions.

Of course, all three of us knew that the Angelo gown was 'worth' more than the one I had bid on so how could she refuse? My gown was now worth twice the value to me and no money had exchanged hands. It was a win-win-win all the way around.

That Friday with Jo after trying on all those gowns and feeling uncertain, I told her I just knew that finding my perfect gown would (should?) be effortless. And indeed it was. Bliss and gratitude exuded from me and Nancy marveled at the entire experience.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Yet being the beautiful bride goes way beyond finding the perfect dress, modifying my diet or exercising more. This was going to be an inside job. When I claimed for myself that I wanted to be the most beautiful bride ever, the Law heard my declaration and to be of assistance, began to bring forth to me unhealed areas or issues in my mind's closet that needed to be cleared out in order to hang my wedding dress.

People are drawn to weddings because of the innocence, freshness and hope they represent. Even the fact that white is the typical color for weddings reflects the Bride and Groom coming into the Light; together in spiritual partnership with God and each other. Much like the wedding feast at Canaan, changing everyday water into wine; changing your human life into one of spirituality, service and unconditional love.

However, surrendering to my Inner Princess Bride was not feeling quite as effortless.
I was going to have to do more than trim some excess pounds; instead, I need to shed the weight of any unforgiveness that I have worn throughout my life. Any stealth or erroneous thoughts and beliefs were now coming forth for understanding, compassion and release. My inner bride wants to be beautiful from the inside out. I want to have virginal thoughts of wholeness hope, faith, trust, peace, oneness and love. And not just mushy romantic love but true love of my self first so that I can then share it fully with others.
It is now my charge to forgive, let go, let God and let the wedding begin. I can now begin to inhale the freshness of this opportunity. I am now letting myself be inspired by this amazing gift of commitment. I can begin to devour the sweetness that has been set before me in this second chance to know love so deeply. And then I can savor the fruits of my labor as I look towards something even more magical than my wedding; I look forward to our marriage.

"Here comes the bride . . ."

melanie D photography © 2007 All rights reserved