Happily Ever After...

Classic fairy tale tag line, right? Well, yes, and, 'tag' implies ending and this is only the beginning; and happily, doesn't always mean without sticky bits and such.

The current wrinkle is the fact that my body decided to join the WGA in Hollywood and go on strike of sorts. My body is going through a process/purging/whatevering post-the intense last one month. A body that spends all it's adrenaline has to come to rest to find a way to restore oneself.

It was only one month ago to date, that I stood in the Cannon Room in Congress as I joined Best Friends celebrating best friends by presenting the Religious Proclamation on Animal Compassion that means so much to my life and work. It was only two weeks ago tonight that I said YES YES YES! to the wonderful man I married. With a whole lot of travel and emotion in between, it is no wonder that this gal finds herself in bed today with the vagaries of a physical and emotional shut-down that knocked me for a loop on Monday when I returned from my Fairfax High Drama Department reunion.

As I was sitting here with my MacBook attempting some focus, the theme from "A Charlie Brown's Christmas" came on the radio and I lost it big time. That T.V. special and the soundtrack is a childhood tradition and favorite of mine and well, dammit, Mom's not here anymore is she? Is that just now hitting? Or just hitting a different soft spot? Well, as if I didn't already sound like I have a whopping head cold, now I sound like a classic TV commercial for NyQuil. "Let's go to an air-cooled movie!" (Inside joke). And just when I thought it was safe to go back in the proverbial water, the d#@* radio decided to play, "Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer" by Gene Autry and the heaving sobs returned. I don't even like that song, but I grew up with it as part of my childhood Christmas. What are they doing playing Christmas music this early anyway?
FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDGGGGGGGE (as Ralphie sez).

This is an example of me practicing what I preach: I often tried to tell people that joy and grief can exist simultaneously. I am living proof of it. The dark and the light are two sides of the same spiritual coin. I have never been happier and yet, I overflow with grief at even the thought of moving through this Christmas without my Mom.
nb: I hope I am not disturbing people with my frank sharing. I do so in part, to not only alleviate some of my load but in hopes that somehow, someway, it might be of support or comfort for another.
Even as you read this, please know I am doing really well.
It's just what it is.
I am taking care of my body as best I can to get back on par; I am allowing myself the grieving process without judgment or impatience; and I am grateful to have a loving husband for me to melt into when life feels really difficult.

For now, I appreciate the rainy weather that allows me to snuggle with Belle to read and write. ( I am guest speaking at Namaste CSL this Sunday, so I have to have my energy and clear-head back by then!)

Despite the ginormous amounts of things to do, I am doing my best to lay low and rally myself so that I can be fully present for both the joy and the sadness this Christmas may have to offer.

Tis true...it is happily, ever . . . after all.