BEFORE . . .

Disclaimer warning for the grumpy or forlorn: I am going to share about the process of our wedding from the before, during and after phases. Read at your own risk as these entries are going to be saturated in bliss, decorated in joy and overflowing with love.
Whether anyone will be interested in this trilogy I am posting, I know knot ( spelling pun there on purpose). Here goes . . .

THE BEFORE:

I had Thanksgiving day to reflect, contemplate, cry, laugh and prepare for my wedding. Don went over to Kasa Kurko's early in the day with 'the boys' to watch football. I took the morning to honor my annual tradition of watching the Macy's Day Parade. It was wonderful to stay in my PJ's and watch the show. Of late, it's the Tony Awards and the Macy's Parade as to how I keep up with the NY theatre scene. I love watching the cast perform selected musical numbers in front of Macy's from their latest Broadway shows.

Part of the reason I chose to spend the morning by myself was because I knew that watching the parade as I have done since being tiny, would trigger memories of my mother and I wanted to let my emotions or responses be free and not feel self-conscious or color anyone else's experience of this holiday. Today's tears were gentle and sweet and I valued my time of reflection and remembrance.

Then Don's sister, Char came over around noon to pick me up--and she came bearing Starbucks tea! We spent the time at John's table folding the wedding programs. Unfamiliar but pleasant was this family thing in progress. Thanksgiving dinner was cooking and here we were folding wedding programs. My wedding programs, to boot.

Since I don't eat turkey, eschewing wheat and having a wedding gown to don (get it?) I didn't have much to eat. However, that just reinforced that Thanksgiving is so much more than the meal. I did choose to leave before they brought out the pie. In old-fashioned tradition, Don agreed to my request that he sleep at John's the night before our wedding, so I went home to be with Jezebelle. Just the goils. I also had a few more wedding details to complete--the bridal party gifts, packing my overnight bag and finishing my vows. For my treat, I turned on the TV Land the "I Love Lucy" marathon--that beats pie any day! And I was doubly blessed in that I caught two of my favorite episodes: when Lucy tries to tell Ricky she is pregnant ("enciente") and then the episode when she goes to the hospital to give birth --which for trivia buffs aired the same night after she gave birth in real life that morning. In that episode was also one of the character actresses who played several small roles throughout the series, Peggy Rea, as one of the maternity nurses. Peggy Rea was my dressing-roommate when I did my first Equity stage play, "Juno and the Paycock" at the Mark Taper Forum in Los Angeles.

This was a sweet night. Danielle called to see how I was doing and give me love. Talked to Jessi about our plans for tomorrow's wedding. And as Rev. Nancy defined for me, I was "wildly fascinated" by the fact that I was getting married tomorrow. I loved that phrase, wildly fascinated because it so aptly describes the whimsical yet contemplative state in which I moved through my day. Fascinated by this whole process of the ritual of a wedding and wild about the fact that it is my wedding.

Married? What does that mean? Why is it so potent, powerful and magical? Yes, I have been married before but that was then, this is now. I am such a different person. Life is so different. There is maturity to factor into the mix. I really feel that I am coming to our wedding and the experience of marriage with new eyes and a deeper understanding of the process. I am thankful for the experience and the value of my marriage with David, and ever thankful that we are still such dear friends. So, when I walk down the aisle tomorrow, it will be a very conscious choice that came as a result of years of my inner spiritual work, prayer, trust, and oh yeah, that love thang.

Oh, and today while watching the Westminster Dog Show, I learned that a dog, a Newfoundland survived the Titanic. That bit of information wildly fascinates me, too.

Sweet dreams . . .