Mother's Day 2008

There was no getting around the fact that yesterday was Mother's Day. All week long, everywhere I looked or everywhere I would go, I was reminded of this special holiday. The first Mother's Day without my mom.

More than just the holiday being a void is the fact that it was one year ago on Mother's Day that mom was rushed to the hospital and became the beginning of the end. Don and I dashed up to L.A. to see her and when the bigger picture became clear.

"Though Mother’s Day is a "Hallmark holiday," it still is powerful. No matter how old you are, losing a parent is a regressive experience that makes people feel young, childlike and vulnerable." Dr. Gail Salz, Today Show.com contributor - May 7th

As Spirit would have it, there is an added element of bittersweet irony today.

My next door neighbor notified me that our other neighbor, Mrs. Kelly had passed away last week. Turns out that her daughter was looking for a non-denominational minister to perform the memorial service...on Mother's Day.

I did not know Mrs. Kelly except that she was a nice lady and an avid animal lover. She impressed me however, when earlier this year, I contacted everyone on our block to raise funds for the American Heart Association around Valentine's Day. I had sent her a letter with the donation appeal and she wrote me back a sweet note congratulating us on the wedding and telling me that she was now living at her daughter's home in Riverside due to health problems. Mrs. Kelly also wrote a generous contribution included in her note.

When I met with Mrs. Kelly's three children this week, I was asking questions to help me craft a service that would be tailored to their needs and reflect something of her. One of the obvious questions was where was Mrs. Kelly born. St. Joseph, Missouri.
I felt a huge shudder resonate through my body that her daughter felt. That is the town where my mother was born. We both realized that it is highly possible that our mother's may have known each other, or at the very least gone to the same schools.

What are the odds? This synchronicity confirmed my presence and involvement in all this.

The service was conducted at Glen Abbey in Bonita in the Chapel of the Roses. A gorgeous chapel with pastel colored stained glass and filled with plants and flowers along the inside, lining the pews making it quite lovely for other ceremonies as well. The rolling green hills of the cemetery were dotted with flowers, balloons and families paying respects or having picnics. It was a colorful and joyous panorama lessened only by the somber mood of our visit.

The gravity of my purpose did not elude me. Nor did the fact that the soloist sang "The Rugged Cross", one of Rev. Matt's favorite hymns from his memorial; nor the fact that this was a beloved mother being released on Mother's Day; and there I was facilitating the releasing as I had for my mother and for my grandmother (that was my first official ecclesiastical act back in 1989). Yet, Spirit held me up through it all. Even walking behind the horse drawn, see-through carriage on the way to the graveside and through the lowering of the casket.

When I got home I felt quite drained. My lack of sleep in advance of this event and the focus energy I must have used to be of service and do my work, left me rather pale. My loving husband was supportive. He fixed a beautiful dinner and we toasted our moms in remembrance. A few more tears were shed and I was able to gently move beyond the sadness and tenderness fully back to present time.


"Mother is the name of God in the lips and hearts of children."
- William Makepeace Thackeray