122 days and counting...

..four months till I become a Sadie. Oh my....

And now, with the closure of my mother's apartment in L.A., I can actually begin to turn my attention to the idea of a wedding. Sweeeeet.

Yes, after a rather difficult weekend in Los Angeles, I was able to completely empty my mom's apartment and turn in the keys. Not easy to do. Both in the physical enormity of the task and the emotional realization that Mom and an aspect of 'home' as I know it, will no longer be. In as much as it took everything I had to sustain myself till the task was done, it was still hard to close the door.

The entire adventure merits it's own blog or essay, and I shall see to it that I write it over the next few months. For now, I can say that it was due to "..the kindness of strangers" that I was able to honor the agreement to vacate by July 22nd (which by the way was Don Henley's 60th birthday). The first angel, my Uncle Mike does not really qualify as a stranger since he is blood kin and I did meet him before this visit; but it wasn't till this trip that we got to know each other. My uncle from Montana is an amazingly generous and kind person who blessed my life with his support; and ended up blessing many others beyond his sisters. The second angel, Gil, showed up at the last minute to fill all the gaps and complete the job. I was profoundly and profusely grateful to each of them for what they made possible from their altruism.

The trip was also filled with joy on Saturday when I was honored to serve as a Minister on the Practitioner panels at the North Hollywood Church of Religious Science. This was my first ministerial home where I served as Assistant Minister to Rev. Mark Vierra; and it was my first ministerial home because my wasband and I lived at the Parsonage (lovingly known as "The Snidge") that was on the property. Even though The Snidge is no longer as it gave way to an expanded parking lot, I have such wonderful memories of scootering across the lot to teach classes; and my Mysticat, Nick coming to retrieve me at the end of the day to escort me home safely.

The practitioner panel was held in my former office--which was also Rev. Matt Kaump's office after I left. Such sweet memories of that place and time and the people. It was also such a delight that many of the congregants heard I was going to be there on Saturday and they came by to say hello and get a hug. Told you this was an emotionally difficult weekend--both in the bittersweet nostalgia and the transitional exchanges.

It was a real gift to have participated in the panels because not only did I meet two new, wonderful additions to the Practitioner Core at large, but it spiritually grounded me to be able to be present for the work at my mom's place. I almost forgot my ministerial 'collar' while there because I had so much work to do, and so many emotions being stirred up. So at first, each time one of mom's tenants would come by and poke their head into the apartment, I was annoyed. Then I realized this was their form of closure with my mother who had been their "den mom" for 16 years. Oh yeah, I wasn't the only one who was sad and would miss her.

Oh so weary, I came home to my beloveds and began the process of restoration and healing. I am clear that the grieving continues in increments and then there will be the time when Mom makes her transition. In the meantime, I will set about doing the rest of the tasks towards getting things in order--there are over a dozen boxes and plastic tote bins cluttering up our living room until I can sort through everything-- continuing my barista training and tickling my own fancy with wedding plans.

Fatigue has been the predominant effect and I am being kind with myself as I make my way back to status quo. This afternoon, after I was leaving the hair salon, the traffic was so heavy I turned into what I thought was a driveway to turn around. It ended up being the parking lot entrance to a Holiday Inn and it had no turn-around exit. I was so frustrated. Babbling with myself at my error in judgment, I finally had to park the car and go into the hotel so I could get a validation or something to engage the gate arm to let me out. I had such a major conversation with myself about how I was going to explain this to the front desk and they better hadn't try to charge me the $2.00 for parking, after all, if you looked at the ticket, only two minutes had elapsed, of course, I wasn't trying to park there. I got in such a huff at what I thought the front desk might say that I had already initiated a dialogue response for requesting the manager to explain my plight. As I stepped up to the front desk, the two clerks were trying to access information and location for two guests as to the nearest office supply store--Staples or Office Depot. I interjected that the nearest Staples was only about a mile away and I ended up giving the gentlemen directions! Yes, folks, moi! Ms. Geographically Dysfunctional gave directions today. The gentlemen who had obviously been to San Diego before recognised what I described and happily thanked me. The desk clerk Patrick, listened to my parking plight and smiled and handed me a new parking ticket to hasten my exit. I laughed at said that maybe I hadn't wasted time and had pulled in to the parking lot to give these men directions instead!

Whoda thunk?